The goodness of forgiving an apology you never received. - May 4, 2025

A few years back, I attended an incredible Women’s Conference with a close friend. The experience was both empowering and enlightening, providing me with numerous insights that I contemplated during and after the event. My friend and I had always been able to engage in difficult discussions and support each other through challenging times. She was the type of person who would candidly express her thoughts without hesitation.

Although I had never encountered someone quite like her before, our conversations were always profound and sisterly, even when others suggested she was 'too much.' However, during this particular trip, everything changed dramatically. A seemingly innocuous comment I made to someone we didn't know triggered an explosive reaction from her. Despite my attempts to soothe her, my words only seemed to escalate her anger. Her response was filled with degrading, hurtful, and disrespectful remarks. If I hadn't been on the receiving end, I might have thought her behavior stemmed from insecurity. Instead, I felt numb, and later recognized that my comment had triggered her suppressed pain, while simultaneously awakening my own past experiences of verbal abuse and abandonment. I cherished her not just as a friend, but as a sister.

During the rest of our international journey, we barely exchanged a few words. We shared accommodations, took flight back home together, and upon returning home, we parted ways. I must admit, I was in tears for several days, struggling to comprehend how someone I cared for deeply could utter such hurtful remarks due to something I had said to a couple we didn’t even know. The evening of her outburst, despite my friend's visible disdain, I enjoyed cocktails with the couple, who expressed their gratitude for my insights. They both mentioned that they had never considered my viewpoint before and promised to apply my suggestions once they returned home. However, this realization was overshadowed by the pain caused by my 'friend's' hurtful words and actions.

This experience highlighted the truth that those who are hurting often inflict pain on others. One particular comment from her stood out: 'You believe you are the perfect person.' In that moment, I recognized that I was striving to be everything for my friends that others had failed to be for me. I wanted them to feel assured that I would never abandon them, nor judge them, and that whatever I had, they could have too. Yet, she was correct; in my quest to be the perfect friend, I inadvertently triggered their unresolved traumas.

Apologies hold significant power as they recognize that someone else's actions, whether deliberate or not, have caused us pain. However, we often must come to terms with the fact that we may never receive an apology from those who have hurt us. Some individuals may exit our lives without ever facing the consequences of their behavior, while others may be blinded by their own pride and ego. The phrase 'I apologize' is not easily uttered by many.

You might find that the person who wronged you may never take responsibility for their actions or words, and they may even make you feel unworthy of empathy or respect. When someone disregards your worth, it reflects their perspective rather than your value. Your identity is not defined by your connection to those who fail to recognize your significance. Start your healing journey by affirming that you are enough. You are a GAME CHANGER.

Your resilience in overcoming challenges that have defeated many is a remarkable trait. I want to express my regret for anyone who failed to appreciate your worth and made you feel inferior. Extend forgiveness to them, as their inability to confront their own insecurities and pain leads them to view others negatively, despite your loyalty. It is perfectly acceptable to forgive them without receiving an apology. You can close the chapter on your pain without them ever acknowledging your suffering.

Let them to say what they wish.

Let them intentionally distance themselves from you.

Let them to cling to their selfishness.

Let them form new connections without you.

Let them overlook your existence.

Let them to persuade others that you are a bad person.

Let them be. Let them be. Let them be.

LET YOURSELF FORGIVE AND CREATE SPACE FOR NEW BEGINNINGS.